fuckin fuckertash

yeah!

I really have nothing to say but i feel as if i should be doing something. Maybe I'm just having an attack of unapathy. Maybe i care. Maybe. Only a few short weeks before my life changes for good, not that this is a bad thing, but life as we all know it has a pattern and is generally a fan of change and life generally begets life. That being the reason for the change and most likely the reason for the said and unusual affliction. All this gets me to thinking about the world as it is and where it's going in the context of my expectant joint legacy (with my wife of course). In the past I have been inclined to and (the imaginary reader) may have noticed my affinity for calling the world the great fucking whore that it appears to be. Sadly this is only acceptable when the levels of ones own self loathing matches the general cruelty that the complicated system of humanity and its conditions inflicts upon itself. I cannot indulge in this sort of judgement now. It is not acceptable. My life now actually has meaning, the only real meaning that any life can obtain and as such my life has taken on a semantic simplicity and the more complex scenario of living with the renewed responsibility of 'real life in the real world'. Not that that changes anything. No time to live in ones head. Now i live. Now i need not ponder the deeper metaphysical aspects of existence, now my existence is required to do what it must; necessitate it's self. Now more than ever i am critically aware of the continuing relationship between order and chaos. We need both!- indeed order is a nesessary product of chaos which in turn explains and secures our existence and the reason for me writing this. Having a baby. While reason may faulter and change time still marches on. And while there is time all possiblities will eventuate including this. Any questions??

god isnt dead he's just a bastard true story.

what's this i hear you say?? Tim your talking to yourself again this morning and for what purpose? ( as if we had to ask) maybe I'm nearly tired of telling everyone to fuck off but the realities of this world can be somewhat depressing and i don't have the energy or the inclination to try and take the whole behemoth down. And you know that we can only blame ourselves if we believe (and like me I'm sure you do) that we are essentially good people albeit human (all too human). What have we done? to help this world to change this world to augment even a tiny bit of the malaise that we have had installed in us the rampant apathy that allows certain people who are just as apathetic to humanity but far more wealthy to have exactly what they want while we get to 'grow up' and come to grips with the realisation that 'you can't always get what you want' and indeed so many people can't even get what they desperately need. My real problem in this is that i am not a socialist or communist by political persuasion mainly because the ideology while hugely attractive on the surface sadly neglects to take into account facets of human nature, mainly of humans as animals. So where do we go from here?? by the way this is an opportunity for someone to give me an answer.

you know whats sad??? the fact that for the vast majority of the time this world inspires me to do no more than hurl abuse at an imaginary reader.

i like the sound of my internet voice pity no one else does. So a message for all of you, and i cant remember if ive told you before or not but anywayz here we go.............. go fuck yourself you arrogant self serving self centered monkeys you have no appreciation of irony.

no one likes me ............. sad face